90/10 的定律是什么？生命的10% 是由你的际遇所组成，余下的90% 则由你的反应而决定。
这意味着什么？我们无法掌握那10%的际遇。我们无法阻止行程因汽车坏掉、航班误点，甚或车子抛锚而延误。
我们无法控制那10%的际遇，但余下的90%则不然。你可以决定余下的90%。
为什么？ … 凭你的反应。
你不能控制交通灯转红，但你能够控制你的反应。别让他人愚弄你，你能够控制你的反应。
让我们举个例子。
你与你的家人吃早餐，你的女儿不小心把咖啡泼倒在你的衬衫上，这是你无法控制的情况。
下一步将如何则由你的反应而定。
你开始责骂。
你狠狠地臭骂女儿一顿，令她陷于痛苦之中。然后你又把怨气发泄在太太身上，责难她把咖啡放在桌边。接踵而来的是一场短暂的骂战。你生气地上楼更换你的衬衫。你下楼，然后发现你的女儿正哭着吃早餐并赶着回校。结果，她错过了巴士。
你的太太赶着上班，你匆忙开车把女儿送回学校。因为你已经迟到了，你以时速四十英里在一条限速三十英里上的道路前进。
你付了六十元道路罚款，终于抵达学校，并已迟到十五分钟。你的女儿没有跟你道别便已跑进学校。你回到公司，已是九时二十分了，这时你竟然发现──你忘了带公文包。
这是非常糟糕的一天，而你感到你的运气每况越下，你开始渴望回家。
当你下班回家，你感到你与太太及女儿的关系上出现微小裂痕。
为什么？ … 一切皆由你早上的反应而起。
为何你会有如此糟糕的一天？
Ａ）是咖啡所造成的吗？
Ｂ）是你的女儿所造成的吗？
Ｃ）是警察所造成的吗？
Ｄ）是你所造成的吗？
“D". 答案是Ｄ。
你无法控制女儿打翻咖啡一事，但你在紧接那五秒内的反应让霉运开始发生。以下是你改写命运的结局。
咖啡翻倒在你身上，你的女儿几乎要哭了，但你温柔地说：「亲爱的，这并不算什么，但你下次得小心一点了。」你拿起毛巾便上楼去。在你更衣完毕并拿起你的公文包后，你下楼去，望出窗外，你看到你的孩子正在上巴士。她回头并向你挥手。你早了五分钟回到公司，并亲切地与你的同事打招呼。你的上司亦对你新的一天给予正面的评价。
看到两者的分别吗？两个不同的情景，由同一个开首所引起。但结局完全两样。
为什么？皆因你的反应而起。
你或许真的无法掌控10% 的际遇，但剩下的90% 则可以由你的反应而定。
以下有一些实践90/10 定律的方法。如有人说起你的是非，千万别当一块「海绵」。要让那些攻击性的说话像水在玻璃上一般的流走。别让那些负面评价缠绕着你！
适当的响应能够使你的生活免受破坏。一个错误的反应能够使你失去朋友、生气、甚或被压力压得喘不过气来。
如果车子抛锚了，你会如何感想？你会生气吗？你会否猛击车上的铁链？我的一个朋友就把铁链弄下来！你会怒骂吗？你的血压是否急速上升？你会否尝试去踫击他们？
谁会在意你上班迟到了十秒？为何让车子破坏你的驾驶过程？
记着90/10 的定律，别在意。
你被通知说你被辞退了。你为何失眠与愤怒? 事情总是发生了。不如用你忧心的力量及时间去找寻新工作吧！
航班延误了，而它将影响你一整天的行程。为何将你的怒气发泄在服务员的身上？她并不能阻止事情发生。如利用你的时间学习，或认识旁边的乘客。不要愤怒，它将令你的一天变的更糟。
现在，你懂得了90/10 的定律。实践它，你将会发现它的惊人效果。尝试实行它，你将不会有任何损失。90/10 的定律非常神奇，而只有很少数的人懂得运用它。
结果呢？超过百万人沈溺在痛苦、尝试、问题与心伤之中。我们必须理解并实践90/10 的定律。它将改变你的一生。
90/10 Rules for all your happiness, prosperity and longeivity
Discover the 90/10 Secret: It will change your life
The 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply this secret. The result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.
Theirs is a life of constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems dreary and is not
enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged.
You can be different!. Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will change your life!
What is this secret? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the
other 90%!
How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you, YOU can control how you react!
Let's use an example. You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup
of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table. An exchange of verbal abuse follows. You storm upstairs and angrily change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying in hurt to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your wife leaves immediately for work, upset and angry.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to
school. Because you are late, you furiously drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you
arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye.
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find damage and hurt in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? All because of how you chose to react in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The honest answer of course, is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds, which was entirely under your control, is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is feeling apologetic and sorry. You gently say with a smile, "It's OK honey, I know you didn't mean it."
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you CHOOSE to react. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your own free will.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret. If someone says something negative about you, let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, ruining relationships, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you loose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? Who cares if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry
about it!
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your "worrying" energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over
what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
You now know the 90-10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
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